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How to help your toddler listen and follow instructions

Discover expert tips to grab your toddler's attention, give clear directions, manage power struggles, and strengthen listening skills.

As a parent of a toddler, you may often find yourself struggling to get your little one to listen and follow your instructions. Toddlers are full of energy and curiosity, making it challenging for them to focus on what we want them to do. Here are some top tips and techniques that can help improve your child's listening skills and cooperation.

Get Your Child's Attention

Before giving any instructions, it's crucial to ensure your child is paying attention to you. Here are some strategies to help you grab and maintain their focus:

  • Get on Their Level: Kneel down or sit so that you are at your child’s level. This makes it easier for them to engage with you and understand that you're speaking to them.
  • Minimise Distractions: Choose a quiet environment with minimal distractions when you need to communicate with your child. Turn off the TV or move to a quieter area if possible.

Give Clear Instructions

When it comes to giving instructions, clarity is key. Toddlers often struggle with multi-step directions, so it's important to keep instructions simple and straightforward:

  • Emphasise Key Words: When giving an instruction, emphasise the most important words so that your child knows which bits to pay the most attention to. For example, "Please put on your pants and socks."
  • Break It Down: If the task is complex, break it down into smaller, more specific steps. For instance, instead of saying "Clean up your toys," you can say "Put the blocks in the box” and then when they are finished that, you can say “put the books on the shelf."
  • Show Them: Show your child what to do, as well as telling them. You can try using gestures, actions, pictures and photos to support their understanding.

Dealing with Power Struggles

It's not uncommon for toddlers to resist instructions or engage in power struggles. Here's how you can navigate these situations:

  • Give Choices: Offer micro choices to give your child a sense of control. For instance, "What shall we do next- teeth or pyjamas?"
  • Use Positive Language: Instead of saying "No running," try "Let's walk inside."
  • Stay Calm and Patient: Keep your tone positive and avoid getting into a battle of wills (when you can!). Take a deep breath and approach the situation calmly.

Teaching Listening Skills

Teaching your child to listen is an ongoing process. Here are some additional tips to help strengthen their listening skills:

  • Practice Listening Games: Play games that involve listening, such as "Simon Says" or "Musical Chairs."
  • Read Together: Sharing books together as part of your daily routine can help to improve your child’s attention span and listening skills.
  • Model Good Listening: Show your child what good listening looks like by giving them your full attention when they are speaking. Be mindful to put your phone down when you are talking to them!

Developing your child’s listening skills takes time and patience. By using these strategies consistently, you can help your child become a better listener and follow instructions more effectively. Celebrate small successes along the way and be supportive of their efforts. If you have concerns about your child's language development or listening skills, don't hesitate to reach out to your child’s Health Visitor or GP, or speak to a Speech and Language Therapist for personalised guidance.

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