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Between the ages of two and three, your little one shoots up and branches out, becoming more adventurous, more ambitious, and more determined – which can lead to more than a few meltdowns! They’ll start making real friends, engage in lots of imaginary play, and get better at holding pens and paintbrushes, which means it’s definitely arts and craft time.
By the age of three, your child will be capable of running, jumping with two feet off the ground, walking up and down the stairs, and even riding a tricycle. Watching them wander round the garden watering the flowers or playing with a ball, it’s hard to imagine this is the same child who not long ago couldn’t do anything without your help. Now look at them!
Their fine motor skills will also be improving, which means they can enjoy playing with playdough – moulding it into shapes and characters – as well as drawing, colouring, and painting. They can also manage trickier games, like jigsaw puzzles or making mechanical toys work. Keep challenging them to try new things. Look out for a toy library nearby so you can keep bringing in new things to play with – without turning your house into a toy shop.
Imaginary play becomes a much bigger part of your child’s life between two and three years old. This takes two forms – they play pretend with toys, manipulating them through a landscape to form some kind of story. For example, pushing cars over a ‘mountain’ or through a ‘tunnel’ to rescue a stuffed dog. Or they might pretend they themselves are in the story, being the rescuer or the wizard or whichever character has most captivated them from the stories they enjoy.
Your 2 – 3 year old will love stories and might bore you to tears by requesting the same story over and over again. If you’re happy that the story they’re interested in is a positive one, let them have it – and see if you can build on it by bringing it into their games both in the house and outside it.
If your little one is at nursery, they might be being encouraged to learn some letters and numbers. They might be capable of copying your writing and they might not yet – both is fine. If they’re interested and want to do it, great, but there’s no rush. Everything is learning at this age. You don’t have to push their ‘education’ in a specific direction just yet – just embrace all their interests and give them lots of experiences.
Your little one is becoming capable of friendships now, and will probably show a preference for particular children either in their childcare setting or within your friends and family groups. Toddler friendships can be a bit hit and miss – literally – but they’re as quick to repair as they are to throw toys at each other, so don’t worry too much if your little one’s friends seem mostly to be frenemies. They’re like puppies – biting at each other (hopefully not literally!) to discover their limits. It’s all part of the learning process.
As for you, playing with toddlers is a bit like improv – you just have to roll with it! In fact, they can be quite dictatorial in the way they direct your play. Try the ‘yes and’ trick (an improv device) – meaning when they suggest something, you say ‘yes and’ and add on your suggestion. This both enables you to redirect their play into safer territory if needed –without actively shutting down their ideas – and teaches them the value of cooperative play. A useful lesson as they grow!
Dressing up is a wonderful part of this imaginative play, so it’s worth having a few outfits in their wardrobe. (Don’t spend heaps – they will soon be worn to rags! Pick up something second hand from the local charity shop or off Vinted.) Let’s be honest, princess dresses are the most fun to wear, so don’t be surprised if boys are equally drawn to them as girls. No need to read too much into it – it’s all fun at this age!
Between the ages of two and three your little one might decide they no longer need a nap. Try to keep it for as long as you can, as some children will maintain their afternoon snooze even towards their fourth birthday if given the opportunity. Others, though, will toss it out like an old nappy, and be continuously on the move from the crack of dawn.
At some point during the year, if milk is still part of your routine, it will likely fade out. Whether breast or bottle feeding, it can feel a bit sad to say goodbye to this snuggly part of your day. But you can keep up the cuddles and swap in more stories at bedtime, or just cuddly starts to the day for those who are slower to wake.
Most children will be potty trained sometime between their second and third birthday. All children are different and this particular milestone will come more easily to some than others. Here are our top tips for potty training:
At the other end of things (ha!) you might be wondering whether your child is eating well enough to get all the nutrients they need. This is a common concern, given that toddlers can be very picky eaters.
While variety is the spice of life, it can be hard to give a toddler a varied diet, so don’t lose sleep over it. Keep trying to offer new things, while also providing the ‘safe’ foods you know they’ll eat, and which are providing a nutritional boost. For example, if the only veg they’ll eat is peas and carrots, that’s fine. Peas and carrots are a good source of vitamin C, folate, magnesium, fibre, and antioxidants. And if they’re not into things being mixed together on their plate, just serve them separately. Pasta with tomato sauce on the side and a little pile of cheese gives them control over what they’re putting in their mouths, which makes for a more positive mealtime. Other toddler favourites that are highly nutritious include:
One thing you could do, if you can manage it, is switch some of your favourite freezer foods for a homemade version. For example, you could make your own chicken nuggets with chicken mince and breadcrumbs for a very easy (and easy-to-eat) dinner, or switch out fish fingers for a homemade version. If you’re opting for a ready-meal, always go for the type specifically made for children – like our toddler tray meals – to avoid giving them too much salt or sugar.
The two to two-and-a-half-year check with your health visitor will give you a chance to run through any concerns about your little one’s development. The health visiting team will send you a questionnaire ahead of the appointment so that you can provide your own review of your child’s progress before an in-person appointment during which the health visitor will be able to see for themselves. This isn’t a test; it really is just a chance to see whether your child is hitting their expected milestones and if not to offer up support. But it’s also an opportunity for you to ask all your questions, so go in prepared.
There is one final round of major vaccinations for your little one at 3 years and 4 months – the preschool vaccinations. This includes the 4-in-1 preschool booster vaccine (diphtheria, polio, tetanus and whooping cough) and the MMRV vaccine (first or second dose only for children born between 1 September 2022 and 31 December 2024). As always, if you don’t receive the invitation to these appointments, chase up your GP or health centre.
After three years of parenting, and perhaps two years of juggling children and work, your pre-parenting days may feel like a dream. Just like you’ve been watching your little one transition from a tiny helpless baby to a joyful 6-month-old to a stumbly toddler and now an independent threenager, you’ve been going through your own transition. From bewildered new parent to competent mum. Which is not to say you have it all together – very few parents ever feel like that! – but you’re certainly smashing this parenting thing. Well done.
Can you remember being a new mum and asking more experienced parents, does it get easier? And them giving you a half smile and saying, ‘well, it just gets different’. It’s something no new parent wants to hear – or, frankly believes. What can be harder than being woken up every hour to have your nipples chewed on?! But now that you’re here with a three-year-old whose emotional rollercoasters have more dips and dives than Alton Towers, maybe you can see what they meant? It’s not easy. But with every step they take towards independence, and every backwards glance they give you to make sure you’re watching, there’s no denying – it is pretty special.
So, to finish – three things to do to look after yourself now you have a three-year-old:
You’ve got this! Thanks for reading.
Developmental milestones are guides – not deadlines. If your toddler isn’t ‘keeping up’ with your friends’ toddlers, it isn’t an immediate cause for concern. Every child develops at their own pace. That being said, your health visitor and GP are there to support you with any queries you might have and will always be happy to see you with your child if you have any worries.
