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How to help your toddler to express their feelings
Learn how to model emotions, label feelings, and use engaging activities to support their emotional development and well-being.
During the toddler stage, expressing feelings, like frustration, sadness, or excitement can be a challenge and this can sometimes lead to big emotions and ‘meltdowns’. Supporting your child in navigating these emotions is key to their emotional development and overall well-being. Here are some practical ways to help your toddler start expressing their feelings and navigate their emotional world.
Model Expressing Your Own Emotions
One of the most effective ways to help your toddler express their feelings is by modelling this behaviour yourself. When you openly express your emotions, you provide a template for your child to follow. For example, you could use phrases like, “I’m so happy because we’re playing together!” or “I’m feeling a little frustrated right now because I spilled my coffee.”. This not only helps your child learn emotional vocabulary but also normalises talking about feelings.
Put Labels on Your Child’s Emotions
Young children rely on you to help them understand their emotions. By giving their feelings a name, you validate their experience and help them start to make sense of it. For example:
- “You look sad. I wonder if you’re upset because your toy broke.”
- “You seem really excited! Is it because we’re going to the park?”
Using phrases like “I wonder” or “you seem” allows you to approach the conversation without mislabelling their emotions. This is important because toddlers may not yet fully understand or communicate their feelings accurately. Discussing heightened emotions can be challenging in the moment. It can be more effective to revisit these situations later when your child is calmer. For example, “Let’s talk about when you spilled the water earlier. What happened, and how did you feel?”
Tips on Embracing Feelings
It is important not to shy away from negative emotions. Instead, support your child in understanding and managing these feelings. Teach them that all emotions are valid and that it is ok to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Provide and model strategies for coping, such as taking deep breaths, hugging a favourite toy, or talking about their feelings. This helps your child learn that while negative emotions are a natural part of life, they can be managed in healthy ways.
Activities, Games and Books Around Feelings
Engaging in activities that focus on emotions can be both fun and educational. Here are a few ideas:
- Use Pictures Representing Emotions: Create or use pictures representing different feelings. These can be simple drawings or photos showing various emotions like happy, sad, calm, angry, and excited. You can create a daily "emotion check-in" where each family member takes turns sharing how they feel by pointing to the pictures.
- Picture Lotto: This game helps familiarise your child with emotional vocabulary. Match pictures of faces showing different emotions, labelling the pictures and talking about what they mean.To extend this activity, you could give examples of when you and/or your toddler have experienced this emotion.
- Naming Emotions in Picture Books: Books like ‘The Colour Monster’ by Anna Llenas, ‘Sometimes I Feel Sunny’ by Gillian Shields and ‘In My Heart: A Book of Feelings (Growing Hearts)’ by Jo Witek are excellent resources. As you read, pause to discuss the emotions of the characters. Ask questions like, “How do you think the monster feels now?”
By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can help your toddler develop a healthy understanding of their emotions. Remember, every step you take in supporting your child’s emotional development is a step towards a more confident and expressive future.
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