How to foster communication and connection with your toddler

Science tells us that toddlers' brains are in an intense phase of growth, with mirror neurons firing to help them learn through imitation and interaction. Every positive, responsive conversation physically shapes their neural pathways for language and emotional understanding.

Their early attempts at speech, however unclear or unexpected, are invitations to connect, not tests to pass.

Try swapping corrections for curiosity. Instead of saying, “No, it’s not ‘goggy’, it’s ‘doggy’”, try stepping into their world. You could try out the following:

“Goggy! You spotted the dog – well done!”

“Oh, you’re reaching up high – are you trying to see the bird?”

By tuning into the meaning behind the words, we reinforce confidence and deepen connection.

It’s easy to fall into instruction mode: “Eat your lunch,” “Put your shoes on,” “Say sorry.” However, toddlers learn language best when it’s part of a shared conversation, not a string of directions.

Here are some practical ways to invite communication:

Narrate life: “I’m putting the potatoes in the pan. They’ll get nice and soft when they cook.”

Pause and wait: After a question, give a few extra seconds for them to respond. Processing takes time.

Celebrate small responses: A nod, a gesture, a sound — it’s all communication.

You could try out the following:

“You’re looking at the shelf – is there something you’d like to choose?”

“You said ‘more’! More bananas coming right up.”

When toddlers feel listened to, not just talked at, they blossom.

Within The Behaviour Bank we love a mini moment! Why? Because, you don’t need elaborate plans or hour-long activities to support your toddler’s communication.

The richest learning happens in everyday moments: hanging laundry, walking to nursery, cuddling after a nap.

Science tells us that the brain develops through frequent, low-pressure interactions rather than high-intensity sessions. It’s the steady drip-feed of connection that makes the biggest impact.

Sometimes, it feels like a guessing game.

Your toddler is shouting, pointing, stamping their foot... and you’re desperately trying to decode the mystery.

We have all sat trying to ‘figure it out’ at some point. Trying to hide that you can't understand them but also really wishing they could say it and you could get on with the many things on the list of ‘to-dos’.

These moments can be overwhelming for them, and for us. But, it’s ok because frustration is also communication. It’s an opportunity to model your own emotional regulation, name emotions, and support regulation.

You could try out the following:

“It’s hard when we can’t find the right words. I’m here to help.”

“You’re showing me you’re upset. Let’s figure it out together.”

By acknowledging their emotions rather than rushing to ‘fix’ them, we build resilience and emotional vocabulary.

In the early stages of communication, it’s not about grammatical perfection (or any perfection!) It's about the bravery of trying.

When we celebrate effort, we fuel confidence from within.

Here are two TBBS examples of encouragement that you could try out:

“You found a way to tell me what you needed, that’s amazing. You are really practicing!”

“You used your hands and your words, I saw how hard you worked. I am so proud of your determination.”

Keep it specific, effort-based encouragement helps toddlers focus on growth, not performance. Remember, add that character strength in too and you build that positive identity!

Communication isn’t just taught. It’s shared.

When we stay present as a messy, imperfect, human - we show our children that communication is about connection, not correctness.

Some toddlers talk non-stop. Others are more reserved. Both are perfectly normal.

Avoid the comparison trap. Stay focused on their pace, their journey.
Science tells us that secure attachment strengthens the motivation to communicate. Children who feel safe are more likely to take language risks, experiment with sounds, and explore expression. This is not to say that if your child is struggling in this area that you don't have a secure attachment, I hasten to add, yes you can put the bag of guilt down. It just means that this helps keep a sturdy foundation for language to build.

Supporting communication is about balancing three key areas:

Connection, Curiosity, and Consistency. When you approach your toddler’s communication journey with warmth and wonder, you’re not just teaching words, you’re laying the groundwork for empathy, self-expression and strong relationships that last a lifetime.