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What to expect with a newborn
We explore what exactly the fourth trimester is and provide practical and emotional advice on what you can expect during this exciting yet challenging stage in your journey as a parent.
Welcome to the fourth trimester! This period is often overlooked, but it's a crucial time for new parents and their newborns. It's a time of transition and adjustment as you figure out how to care for your little one while also taking care of yourself. In this blog post, we'll explore what exactly the fourth trimester is and provide practical and emotional advice on what you can expect during this exciting yet challenging stage in your journey as a parent.
What to expect
Pregnancy can be an exciting time, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. After all, you're growing a human being. Once your baby is born, you'll likely have many questions. Know that this is totally normal.
The fourth trimester is the period of adjustment after your baby is born. It's important to remember that every baby and every family is different, so take generalised advice with a pinch of salt, as well as comments from well- meaning friends and family. The best advice is to follow your gut and go with what feels right for you and your family.
Here are some things you can expect during the fourth trimester:
Tiredness
It's common to feel exhausted after giving birth, especially if you have had a long labour or difficult birth. Your body has been through a lot and needs time to recover. For the first few weeks, it's a good idea to sleep when your baby sleeps. This may not be realistic for a longer period of time, as you may need or want to get out and about, but do it as much as you can in the fourth trimester to support your body to heal and recover.
Feeding issues
Whether you're breastfeeding or formula feeding, there may be some bumps in the road, or you may need support for healthcare professionals to make informed decisions. If you're having trouble breastfeeding, talk to your midwife, health visitor, or a lactation consultant. And if you're formula feeding ensure that you are feeding responsively. I have written another article on this here *link to responsive feeding article.
Crying
It's totally normal for babies to cry. It's their only way of communicating. They may need help to know that they are safe, as they have been born into a totally different world - compared to the one they were used to inside your tummy. Try to soothe them with rocking, skin-to-skin contact, lullabies, or pop them in a carrier as you go about your daily tasks. Your baby will usually eventually settle down and learn they are safe and you're not going anywhere.
Postpartum hormones
After giving birth, your body will go through lots of hormonal changes. You may experience mood swings, baby blues and even some form of mild anxiety—all very normal postpartum emotions. Don't be afraid to talk about it with your partner, family members, friends, or even your doctor. If any of your symptoms persist for more than two weeks, speak to your health visitor or doctor as this could be an early indication of postnatal depression. If this is the case, know that you are far from alone. Around 20% of mums experience some form of mental health problem post birth.
Lean on others for support and advice during the fourth trimester and talk about anything and everything to someone who loves you. They will not judge you for thinking or feeling a certain way.
Sleep deprivation
Sleep deprivation is one of the most common and challenging aspects of having a newborn. It can be difficult to get enough sleep when you are constantly caring for a baby, and this can lead to exhaustion and feelings of overwhelm. There are a few things that you can do to help ease the challenge of sleep deprivation:
- Establish a very gentle bedtime routine: A bedtime routine will help your baby begin to tell their nights from their days, and hopefully lead them to sleep for longer periods of time. There's not much use in implementing this before 8 weeks, as feeding is being established. After that you can start with some gentle cues such as quieter voices in the evenings and less stimulation, and gradually work in a bedtime bath, book and perhaps some gentle baby massage.
- Power naps: If you are finding it difficult to get through the day without feeling exhausted, consider taking short power naps when you can. Even just 20 minutes of uninterrupted sleep can make a big difference in how you feel. Coincide your naps with your baby’s sleep pattern, or with times when you have someone else in the house who can watch the baby while you catch up on some much-needed rest.
- Seek help: Don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends. Having someone else take over for a few hours so that you can get some much-needed rest can be invaluable. They could always take the baby out for a walk so you’re not disturbed.
Advice for partners
The first few months with a newborn are a special time for both parents. It can be tough going at times, but it's also a time of great joy and discovery. Here are some things to bear in mind that may help you and your partner through this period:
- You're both probably very overwhelmed and tired! It's normal to feel tired after having a baby, especially if you're breastfeeding. So, make sure you take turns in looking after the baby and allow each other to rest. Tag team the chores and make sure you check in with each other.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether it's from grandparents, friends or professional help, accepting assistance will give you both a well-earned break.
- Be patient with each other. New parenthood can be stressful, you may not agree on everything. It's normal. In these situations, try to talk it out calmly.
- Communicate openly about how you're both feeling. This will help you to support each other through the ups and downs of early parenthood.
- Finally, take time out to have fun with one another. Set aside some time in your week specifically for quality time together and don’t forget to savor the small moments of joy that bring you both closer. Even if that’s a nice cuppa together and a 5-minute chat.
The fourth trimester is a special time for parents, as they get to know and bond with their newborn baby. It can be a time of great joy but also great anxiety and sleepless nights. By learning about the physical, emotional, practical and psychological changes that take place during the fourth trimester period by gathering information and seeking advice from people who know best you can prepare yourself to feel more confident and less overwhelmed. Remember, no question is ever a silly question. And trust your instincts!
Advice & tips
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